Death Race

Whooo! Fast cars, explosions, carnage, Jason Statham’s marble mouthed British accent and Joan Allen’s Nancy Reagan neck, all of this equals to a bad ass movie. A remake of the 1975 movie Death Race 2000 staring Sylvester Stallone and David Carradine who makes a cameo in the beginning of reprising his role of Frankenstein before his untimely death.

The concept. In the not so distant future (four years to be exact) our economy collapses and our society revolts. Crime is on the rise, unemployment is a full time job and Corporations run the nation’s prisons for profit. So, Joan Allen runs the Terminal Island Prison who hosts the Death Race where the terminal prisoners race one another to the death for their freedom. We are propelled into the front seat of some shitty tin box with a masked bastard and a sexy Latino. This makes no God damn sense at all to me but it’s an action movie, it’s not supposed to. So there is some banter where the masked bastard Frankenstein is commanding Latino lady to fire off various Inspector Gadget gadgets but nothing appears to be working. Latin Lady ejects from the car and Frankenstein goes up in a ball of flame. Good by Carridine.

We are then treated to Statham working in a steel mill that is closing due to the ongoing recession. But no worries, this is the future had McCain and Palin won. Statham takes his measly last few dollars and goes home where his wife is cooking and his baby daughter is sleeping. We see the happy family for mere moments before a ninja comes in and kills his wife and frames Statham for the murder. Our economy is so bad we no longer have detectives or lawyers so he is shipped to Terminal Island to rot. Oh, but Nancy Reagan neck has other ideas for our steel mill worker, turns out he is a fantastic driver and once raced professionally. The Death Race is televised via the internet and to view the delicious carnage, a large subscription fee is required. Frankenstein was a big hit with the viewers and thus must continue to race, a bit hard to do when you have been charbroiled.

Wouldn’t you know it, Nancy neck devised the plan of framing our favorite steel mill worker in order to make him drive for the Death Race by enlisting the help of a psychopathic prisoner who happens to be in the Death Race with our heroic steel mill worker. Seriously, what a bitch. With the threat of never seeing his daughter again, marble mouth dons the magical Frankenstein mask gets a crappy tin box to drive, three inmates as his pit crew and the same God damn Latino bitch that killed the first Frank.

Statham as Frank races against his fellow tough-as-nails inmates with the sole intention of killing the man who murdered his wife, taking down Nancy neck and getting his freedom and his daughter back. But in order to do this, violence must happen on the race track.

Gore! Explosions! Ridiculously happy and predictable ending! A good view for an evening with the kids.