Crap I want but don't need

ASICS GT 2140 Trail Running Shoe
Because I believe a new shoe will totally help my running performance on the trails.
Dick's Sporting Goods

Paranormal Activity

Please stop taking us for idiots. Do not make a film with a hand held camera and try to convince us this is the long lost footage of blah blah blah. Some people fell for this con when The Blair Witch Project came out but this is just ridiculous. I saw the trailers and thought, hell yeah, a good ghost movie. Then I watched it.

PLOT So here we have two young yuppies with apparently no responsibilities since they sit around their house all day with a camera the size of a small nation and wax poetic about the supernatural. They try to explain that one is a day trader and the other is a student but neither does anything to prove this except one scene where Katie like, reads a book and says she’s studying. Anyway, Micha the douche bag day trader has gone out and purchased a high end and fucking enormous camera and with prodding from Katie tells her it was worth half of what he made today. Die day trader douche bag!

Apparently Micha bought this camera is to document the paranormal activity Katie says she’s been dealing with since she was 8, but it’s see that she’s upbeat about this longstanding haunting and channels her fear of this entity into some beadwork and knitting a scarf out of acrylic yarn. To add some forward motion to this stagnant puddle of a movie, they meet with some “psychic” who has no purpose in the movie except to say it’s a demon and then hands them the business card of the demonologist who will not be appearing in this movie. Well Katie wants to call the guy but Micha “has a plan” and wants to keep the demonologist out of it. So they set up the camera in the bedroom to film them sleeping and to capture any spooky happenings. Yeah, the most frightening part of this movie was watching these two retards argue about being followed by a fucking demon. Are you kidding me?

FINAL THOUGHT The movie spends an estimated 95% following 2 idiots yell at each other and 5% trying to spook us with their night vision parlor tricks. If you are a pussy and are easily frightened by crappy dramatic improvisation about demonic possession and of sheets being fluffed, this is the movie for you. For all others, buy another ticket to Zombieland and count yourself lucky.

THE GOOD, the bad, the ugly

Oh thank God! I feel better knowing that this has walked down a runway without an ounce of irony.

Crap I want but don't need

PSP Go
I want it only because my boyfriend got one
Game Stop

Zombieland

Thank you Hollywood for giving me Zombieland, it has been far too long since I have seen a movie that I enjoyed seeing, and this one has zombies in it to boot!

PLOT Well, what else is there to say but zombies have taken over the world and after a humorous slow-mo intro we begin the adventure of Columbus. A college student traveling to Ohio to find his parents and has a list of rules to survive by the most important being Cardio, the Double Tap and Seat Belts. By following these rules our unlikely protagonist found he could survive long enough to run across Tallahassee, an ass kicking southerner who revels in the sport of killing rabid zombies and the endless pursuit of a good Twinkie.

Blah, blah, blah. So along these two travel until they happen upon Wichita and Little Rock, two sisters who con them out of their vehicle and weapons… twice but eventually team up on a trip to Los Angeles’ fun park “Pacific Playland” which is believed to be zombie free. Okay and you know, I can’t say anything else without laying out the entire story and this would be an injustice, especially since I am not funny.

FINAL THOUGHT A humorous story of 4 unlikely people who bond over the destruction of human kind… and Bill Murray. I was not let down by this movie but if you ask me, if this movie was put in the ring with Shawn of the Dead the latter would beat Zombieland to a bloody brain searching pulp, but awesome British comedy aside, this was the first movie that I have watched featuring the acting styling of Woody Harrelson that has not made me want to throw a shoe at his one dimensional head. Seriously, I hate that guy but add a smear of zombie and apparently I become accepting of even the most vile of southern drawlers.

FINAL FINAL THOUGHT Did anyone else notice the uncanny resemblance between Wichita and Ophelia from Brutal Legend the latest creation from video game genius Tim Schaffer?