the good, THE BAD, the ugly

I love me some fried food, it's the Southern Belle in me I guess. So last night was our Condo association meeting, where we talk about condo fees and who is bothering who. Since no one has a condo large enough, they decided to hold it in my favorite local dive bar where Pub Trivia is held. I threw back some wine in anticipation of being attacked for some odd habit we have and I wanted to make sure my nerves were calm.

I get there late, order my bartender's equivalent of a Scorpion Bowl and a basket of onion rings. I then proceed to order two more drinks and polish off the plate of fried heaven. I hang out with my neighbor telling funny stories about my childhood for a few hours and head off to bed.

Soon, my stomach begins to churn and my body begins to shake with the chills. I try to ignore this feeling by rubbing my tummy and trying to fall asleep. Well, when the first cramp came I was happy that it was just going to be a case of the squirts. Once in the bathroom, I thought it best to maybe remain near a flushing unit, so I wrapped in a robe, turned off the lights and curled up on the bath mat.

Nothing happened for a while, so I thought I was in the clear to go back to bed, but once I stood up, it was all down hill from there. There are very few involuntary actions that you body can make that are as unpleasant as horking up friend onions, but after experiencing it last night, I can say I am officially traumatized and will be looking for a different plate of food in the future.