Step up 2: The Streets

For every good movie I watch, I need what I like to call a “pallet cleanser.” This is a movie that sucks, and is hilarious in a way that only a movie that sucks can be. Step Up 2: The Streets was that movie. It is a sequel and a play on words, wow.

The story takes place in Baltimore, the largest hood in America. We are introduced to how fierce the street dancers are in Baltimore when the crew known as 4-1-0 put on an impromptu performance on the cities underground. This performance is their application of sorts to compete in a dance-off called “The Streets.” One of the members of the 4-1-0 is Andie, the whitest hood rat who is living with her godmother. Parents always get in the way in this kind of story, and this one is no different, Andie’s mom was conveniently written out with a severe case of death, no mention of who her father was so I can only assume her mom was a ho.

Andie has big dreams of wearing midriff bearing shirts and break dancing her way to the top, and these dreams are getting in the way of her school work. Her caretaker threatens to send her to Texas to live with her aunt, this is a sick threat, since Texas doesn’t have enough “hood” for our little dancing Andie. So, with a magical appearance from the dude from the first Step Up movie, he comes to spout wisdom upon her about staying in school and her dancing talent. So a dance-off commences between them, and if she loses, she has to get her act together and audition for the MSA, which is the Maryland School of the Arts. There are trampolines on the floor and someone pops off their shirt, I’m not saying who, but Andie loses because we need another 75 minutes of footage.

I had no idea how easy it was to get into the MSA, according to Step Up 1 and 2 you don’t even need to wait for a new school year, hell you don’t even need credentials or previous formal training. You just show up, dance for 30 seconds and as long as you have someone how finds you attractive (kinda inappropriate for a school environment if you ask me) you can begin classes the very next day. I don’t even think there is paperwork involved. So Andie performs her little “street” dance, and is cut off mid way through some mind bending routine where she is basically just sitting on some prop steps and twitching. She’s sure she bombed as she talks to her sistahs out on the blacktop while rehearsing their routine for the “The Streets” competition, but receives a phone call that notifies her that she made it. But just as she receives her good news, the big bully of a crew leader tells them they need to practice more and they must meet at 4pm every day.

Andie can’t make enough of the practices because she is playing hard to get with the local heart throb Chase, and is discovered to be going to a fancy school, and she is kicked out of the 4-1-0. But don’t worry, this is a movie about happy endings. And Chase devises a plan to get into the Streets and stick it to the MSA which he feels is suppressing the creative nature of the students and trying to make them conform. They put together their own crew and apply for “The Streets”. They step on the toes of the 4-1-0 crew leader and it’s on man, there will be a finger snapping battle for who rules the streets of Baltimore.

After the 4-1-0 crew defaces the dance studio at the MSA, Andie is expelled for getting the school involved with the illegal competition known as “The Streets” and will now be sent to Texas. But after her MSA crew gets the page that “The Streets” is on, they gather at her house and in style akin to an “After School Special” each of the MSA outsiders tells her how she made them belong to something. Andie’s guardian hears this and her heart grows 3 sizes. They are off to “The Streets.” Fuck Yeah!

But the director of the MSA catches word that his students are going to take part in “The Streets” and goes to stamp out the evils of street dancing. The MSA Crew is denied access to perform because they aren’t from the “hood” so Crew 4-1-0 is the winner. But this isn’t a movie where the underdogs lose, no, this is a movie of triumph and perseverance and not letting people get you down. So Andie gives a speech that was written by Barack Obama himself and takes the battle outside where a sudden rain storm helps them take it up a notch. They win “The Streets” with a prize of nothing, and the MSA director is hit with the power of street dancing and accepts Andie and her half shirts back to school.

In conclusion, do not watch this movie.