The DMV, a Fairy Tale

To anyone on the planet Earth who has ever had to deal with the DMV, you will know our pain. A few months ago I noted on this blog about how crappy the Mass DMV/RMV is. After 4 visits and a week and a half I did get registered to own and operate my vehicle. William however, lacking his car title due to an extreme fuckup on the part of his bank where he had his loan, chose to believe in the system, and woe be to any man who tries this again. According to the DMV you can request another title. So starting in Mid June William filled out the appropriate paperwork and sent it in with his self addressed and stamped envelope. 6 weeks later his application was sent back to him.

Again he filled it our, got the signature from his ex-girlfriend, who after a long afternoon 6 months earlier was actually no longer on the title... Strange no? Well months and months go by with out a peep from the DMV or his title. Even his ex-girlfriend tried to help us out when she visited Virginia again to see her family. She was told that she was no longer on the title and therefore could not obtain the title... What? Okay, so Will gets from his Ex a new title number and fills out another form and another check and another self addressed and stamped envelope and sends it in. And a few weeks later one of his envelopes returns to us with a title inside. A dead title. We thought about using it anyway and getting him registered so that he could at least get his parking permit and retire the visitor pass he's been using for the past 6 months. We thought against it. I remembered in a cold sweat all the little things the Mass DMV turned me away for, and I could only imaging the tears that this would cause us.

But all was not lost, one Virginia DMV operator when to work in the morning set out to accomplish something no others would. He was new I'm sure, his sole was not yet crushed under the weight of long lines and angry waiters. The title was on it's way.

We retrieved the mail one day to see an old 37 cent stamp in our post box. It was the envelope with William's title. We wept and laughed and danced in joy...



But something was amiss...



Although someone at the DMV had the good intention to send us the title, they would not even seal the envelope. We even sent a self sealing envelope! The amount of effort that would have been used to pull off the protective paper was less than the effort put forth in placing the title into the envelope.



What is this!? We cried. Our very precious piece of paper was placed carelessly into an unsealed envelope and was at the mercy of our postal system. I mean no offense to our postal system that has seen hard times since the development of the internet and email. But lets get real here. Our envelope was not even postmarked. What ever we thought.



We had the title and by some strange bit of fate it arrived into our welcoming house unharmed. Where it will sit around for 3 more months before we get off our asses and decide that the time is right to approach the Mass RMV, which will be a whole new adventure fraught with tears, blood and probably a lot of alcohol.