PLOT So you may have already put it together that this movie is based on the old wives tale that warned a person who was passing a graveyard to hold their breath. I had always believed that this was done to show respect to the dead because they are no longer breathing, upon doing some research there is a second meaning to the tale and that is what HYB is based on. The only problem is, even with the belief of being possessed by a spirit, this legend does not translate into a movie, and of all the wives tales out there this is the one they choose to use. Hell a story about a haunted ham sandwich would have a more convincing plot. The one thing this movie did give us was a fantastically cheesy title name song.
To set the stage, the movie opens to the lethal execution of a serial killer and judging by the victory rolls of one crazy eyed audience member it must be the 1940's. I don't remember his story but it was explained later that no one knew of his horrible deeds because the prison burned down and destroyed the records and I guess every news article or victim as well because that is one crappy excuse. Well something goes awry with the electrocution as an electrical storm rolls in and fries him up nice, also bringing us to present day Cali and a group of six friends getting packed up and ready to go camping, because that is what every motley crew of twenty somethings do with their weekends. I personally drink and sleep and not always in that order.
Our gang sets out on their adventure, laughing and pulling jokes on each other while the random pothead friend just lights up just as they are coming up on an old graveyard. Suddenly the daffy blond in the back who was in Tucker and Dale cries out that everyone needs to hold their breath least they should be possessed by a "really evil spirit". This spiraled me into trying to understand why millions of people aren't possessed because who actually does hold their breath? Well, Blondie really believes this and nearly has a litter of kittens because no one believes her. Reluctantly all but the pot head oblige in this craziness and can you imagine what happens next? You betcha! Half Baked gets a snoutful of evil soul.
They decide to pull over as Half Baked has a fit of coughing, I assume it's because the spirit went down the wrong pipe. So as he composes himself our group of half wits decide to go exploring but our pot head stays back to show us just how possessed he really is. The group emerges to see an abandoned prison that I guess may have been a big contributor to the graveyard and because we are dealing with halfwits Two decide to run off and get busy inside of an old prison that OSHA would not approve of and because they are all co-depended the other three follow the love birds into the abandoned building. Once they disappear we check in on Half Baked who is now possessed and can make his eyes glow red takes this opportunity to murder a park ranger that just happened by.
Now this is where I think the movie becomes more of a horror about human behavior in twenty-somethings than about serial killing ghosts. As the couple gets busy on a dirty morgue table the other three find the execution room with the electric chair and proceed to strap a guy in with promise of oral. What I don't get is that the girl who believed so much that a spirit could possess you if you happen to be breathing and passing a graveyard at the same time does not think twice about strapping her friend to a machine designed to execute the evil people she was so terrified of being possessed by. Out of nowhere, a storm comes in and is primarily focused on the execution chamber and the two girls fumble as if thumb-less to remove a couple of moldy leather straps from their friend.
Hearing the commotion the two kids sexing it up run out to find out what the fuck was going on and then they all leave remembering that it is a camping trip and they should at least try to set up the tent. So leaving the prison they collect Half Baked and trundle down the road a piece and set up exactly one tent that the morgue humps quickly occupy to hump some more.
So after this, the story goes from stupid and takes a sharp left turn to WTF. The writer is doing his best to make a 90 minute movie out of this urban legend and has added onto the lore by explaining that not only can you be possessed by a spirit when taking in oxygen by a graveyard, this same spirit can move between people once free from their graveyard bonds. The best embellishment was when it was explained that the practice of holding ones breath only extends to people in cars and you can walk past the graveyard safe as kittens. I would have loved to have been at that brain storming session.
The best is yet to come; enter grumpy old caretaker. I have a beef with this guy, he looks to be about 55 but during one of his cantankerous moments of story telling accompanied by flashback tells our protagonists that he was a prison warden during the execution. Even if the execution took place in 1950 he would have needed to be born in 1930 making him now about 80 give or take, guess no one thought anyone would do the math. So Grumpy-pants basically is in the movie to explain... the movie, but only succeeds in being an douche bag with super winning lines. Unfortunately I don't remember much after his introduction, I just couldn't suspend my disbelief long enough to put the last of this crap to memory.
FINAL THOUGHT This was a silly movie based on a silly urban legend written by silly people and staring even sillier people. Except for Half Baked, I thought he was a good addition to this shitfest.
1 important opinions:
I would totally watch a movie about a haunted ham sandwich!
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