Drive Thru

I can only assume that this was actually intended to be a satire on teen slasher movies because I just can't believe this was ever intended to be taken seriously. It had a murderous reject from Gwar called "Horny the Clown," now tell me if that doesn't sound like some sort of bull shit name for a crazed villain on a murderous spree if this is not a farce of a movie. I do however feel that this was not primarily intended to create laughter, it did, but I don't think it was supposed to if you know what I'm saying..


PLOT I am pretty sure there was a well defined, if contrived plot. A famous burger chain called "Hella Burger" has a mascot in one very randy Horny the Clown. Well, we meet Horny when he takes out some cornrowed, thug, ebonic speaking white kid who was annoying me anyway. With his over the top cross between an evil clown and KISS reject costume, I realize that I would rather watch 90 minutes of the ghetto white boy than deal with him. But as you may be aware of, I love cinematic punishment and so I plowed on.

After this douche bag was put to rest we are introduced to some ear bleeding "rock" played by that bitch from some WB show but I don't know which one, and her "band" and a lot of air quotes on my behalf. They are apparently throwing a kick ass party where the only guests were a couple who weren't even invited and then the cops break it up. Um, I thought you had to have at least... you know, other people to create a party deserving of the cops but I think the budget was too low for extras. After the great party break up, the "band" gathers around a Ouija board that spells out the license plate number of G.W.B (that's Ghetto White Boy in case you weren't following.) And the next morning the girl from some WB show that I still can't think of sees the plate on the news and is all like "oh my God."

I don't really need to go into the rest of the movie as it isn't to different from the first 20 minutes. Clown guy kills kids, Chick from the WB discovers the secret her mother and her friends have been keeping as their children fall victim to the lamest fucking serial killer in a movie ever.


FINAL THOUGHT It was a heart warming movie about the human spirit, and the dangers of fast food... and it will make you laugh.