to all the people i never call

It's not 'cause I hate you or anything. I want everyone who knows me and knows my old phone number (or hasn't thrown it away after I moved to Cambridge to be all metropolitan and cooler than you (see article below). I want you all to know that my old number will be disconnected by October 10. I have a new number now and if you call my old moble, the message service will provide you with my new one (this is of course if I don't call you first to inform you) I may be out promoting my new rocker style (again see article below).

I love all of my friends, and the reason I don't call is because I'm too lazy, or I call when the desired person is at happy hour and is a bit too tipsy to remember I've called and can't talk over the loud country music karaoke.

my very own neighborhoodie

look upon me in jealousy, only I can be the bearer of this fancy hoodie. The fine folks over at neighborhoodies have created for me a one of a kind new piece to my wardrobe that will soon make its way to the floor with the rest of my attire usually does. So the point of the neighborhoodies is to create for you fantastic iron on designs with you own caption or graphics etc. Obviously I'm shilling for my neighborhood, but I'm not so much a rocker as a listener of audio books, but maybe people will think I'm really cool, and really into music. What I will start to do is claim to people that I know superfly up and coming artists (I totally plan to come up with the band names myself, what's the point of being fake if you can't have a laugh at someone elses expense?) So someone will be all" hey, did you hear the new Clap your hands say yeah album?" Then I'll say something pretentious like "Clap you hands is good, but you should hear this group called I hate your band, I can't believe you haven't heard of them." then walk away like I know so much more than they do. And to make this even more disgusting, this whole conversation will take while wearing an ipod nano.