Why Don't People Think... Then Speak

So the week has made a full circle and here we are agin at Thursday, The notorious OC night, sponsored by PF Changs. The point I would like to address here is that people can be very blind, or just really stupid. One day I was on a shoe kick... or was it a whole week... whatever I had to have pretty shoes. I'm looking around my favorite place to buy shoes, DSW. I checking a fantastic pair with little kitten heels and in the next row I hear a mother berating one of her two daughters that her belly fat is so gross, "it's just hanging over your pants, that's just so unattractive, cover that up, no one wants to see that." So as an amature voyeur, I have to take a gander at the disfunctional family. Shocked I see mom and her two spawn. You know, I understand the whole unattractivness of fat around the waist, but when the person that is skolding you themselves weighs about 350lbs and has to sit while their children look around, that's just wrong. Her kids looked about average by todays sorority girl standard, and if I had seen them with out the lump of fat they called their mother I would not even think to myself that there was anything wrong with them. Even upon closer examination, I thought nothing was wrong... but mom, Dude now SHE needs to be insulted in public a bit more. Parents, if there is something wrong with you, or if you have not been satisfied with your life thus far, it is not your children's job to carry your burden. They will just torture you later, we kids have fine tuned the art of sticking it to our parents, you may not see it coming, but it will be there. We will send you away to retirement homes, we will never visit, send you chocolates with insects in them, then take your money in order to pay for the therapy you have forced us to receive. So fat lady at DSW, you are warned (you will die of obesity anyway,) you could stand to eat a few carrots yourself and shut the hell up.

Thanks for finding my lighter

I am now going to explain to all of those people out there who apparently find it neccessary to plug the words "like" and "you know" into your speaking behavior. Alright, I confess I do it to, but I use it sparingly, as I would with cayanne pepper, or saffron. What I can not handle is when these words are used between every third word in a spoken sentence. Please people, if this how you speak, do not leave your house, do not go in public because you are annoying, you are beyond annoying, you are like the sound of eating bananas annoying, or smacking your mouth on icecream annoying. I was unfortunate enough to be placed in a restaurant next to one of these fools, at first I thought I had just stepped in a pile of Jesus and that I was going to be trapped by someone who would spend the rest of the hour trying to save my soul. I think she was an intern (insert your joke here) and perhaps she was smart, I'm not really sure, but she kept reminding her date that she was ("I wrote the greatest paper on my bowel movement that was the in the form of George W.) Less is more, and by this I mean, less words in a sentence will get the point across. There is not enough time in a day to pick the useless words out to get to the useful ones, you just end up sounding as though you are... "special". I liken this issue with a deep Southern accent, where two more syllables are added to a word which only needs one. By the way I do not know what you mean when you say that something is "over yonder" be more specific please.

I was going to make fun of "Trigger" and a certain something added into her new relationship, but I will bite my tongue on this one. I instead will slip subtle jokes much like mouse droppings, you'll find them where you least want them.