Paranormal Activity

Please stop taking us for idiots. Do not make a film with a hand held camera and try to convince us this is the long lost footage of blah blah blah. Some people fell for this con when The Blair Witch Project came out but this is just ridiculous. I saw the trailers and thought, hell yeah, a good ghost movie. Then I watched it.

PLOT So here we have two young yuppies with apparently no responsibilities since they sit around their house all day with a camera the size of a small nation and wax poetic about the supernatural. They try to explain that one is a day trader and the other is a student but neither does anything to prove this except one scene where Katie like, reads a book and says she’s studying. Anyway, Micha the douche bag day trader has gone out and purchased a high end and fucking enormous camera and with prodding from Katie tells her it was worth half of what he made today. Die day trader douche bag!

Apparently Micha bought this camera is to document the paranormal activity Katie says she’s been dealing with since she was 8, but it’s see that she’s upbeat about this longstanding haunting and channels her fear of this entity into some beadwork and knitting a scarf out of acrylic yarn. To add some forward motion to this stagnant puddle of a movie, they meet with some “psychic” who has no purpose in the movie except to say it’s a demon and then hands them the business card of the demonologist who will not be appearing in this movie. Well Katie wants to call the guy but Micha “has a plan” and wants to keep the demonologist out of it. So they set up the camera in the bedroom to film them sleeping and to capture any spooky happenings. Yeah, the most frightening part of this movie was watching these two retards argue about being followed by a fucking demon. Are you kidding me?

FINAL THOUGHT The movie spends an estimated 95% following 2 idiots yell at each other and 5% trying to spook us with their night vision parlor tricks. If you are a pussy and are easily frightened by crappy dramatic improvisation about demonic possession and of sheets being fluffed, this is the movie for you. For all others, buy another ticket to Zombieland and count yourself lucky.