Thanks for finding my lighter

I am now going to explain to all of those people out there who apparently find it neccessary to plug the words "like" and "you know" into your speaking behavior. Alright, I confess I do it to, but I use it sparingly, as I would with cayanne pepper, or saffron. What I can not handle is when these words are used between every third word in a spoken sentence. Please people, if this how you speak, do not leave your house, do not go in public because you are annoying, you are beyond annoying, you are like the sound of eating bananas annoying, or smacking your mouth on icecream annoying. I was unfortunate enough to be placed in a restaurant next to one of these fools, at first I thought I had just stepped in a pile of Jesus and that I was going to be trapped by someone who would spend the rest of the hour trying to save my soul. I think she was an intern (insert your joke here) and perhaps she was smart, I'm not really sure, but she kept reminding her date that she was ("I wrote the greatest paper on my bowel movement that was the in the form of George W.) Less is more, and by this I mean, less words in a sentence will get the point across. There is not enough time in a day to pick the useless words out to get to the useful ones, you just end up sounding as though you are... "special". I liken this issue with a deep Southern accent, where two more syllables are added to a word which only needs one. By the way I do not know what you mean when you say that something is "over yonder" be more specific please.

I was going to make fun of "Trigger" and a certain something added into her new relationship, but I will bite my tongue on this one. I instead will slip subtle jokes much like mouse droppings, you'll find them where you least want them.